Vance Joseph needs a nickname and nine victories.

Practically all of the Broncos’ head coaches have sported nicknames.

The five with the highest overall winning percentages were: John “Foxy’’ Fox (.690), Gary “Koobs’’ Kubiak (.686) Robert “Red’’ Miller (.627), Mike “Mastermind’’ Shanahan and Dan “The Unwanted Cowboy’’ Reeves (.596).

The seven lowest, not including “interim’’ coaches, were: Mac Speedie — his real full name, although both sound like nicknames — (.250), “Flingin’ Frank’’ Filchock (.268), Jack “No Nickname’’ Faulkner (.297), Lou “Half A Loaf’’ Saban (.331) and Josh “McKid’’ McDaniels (.393).

John “Dale Carnegie’’ Ralston (.507) and Harold “Wade’’ Phillips (.485) were tweeners.

Then, there’s Vance Joseph, with five victories — worst of the 13 all-time coaches — and a .312 winning percentage. Joseph must win two games to pass Speedie, five to pass Faulkner and seven to pass McHoodie. He’ll also have to coach in 13 more to surpass “Goodbye and Good riddance’’ Josh.

But that’s not a sure thing for Vance.

Does Joseph move from precipice to playoffs?

During minicamp last week Vance said he “will do better, and I can do better,” then: “What I’ve learned, I don’t know yet …’’

Uh, and duh.

Some coaches might have listed four or 12 lessons learned from a disastrous rookie season.  What we learned is that Joseph doesn’t know what he learned.

However, he did offer this self-appraisal: “When you lose that many games in a row (eight), my job is to fix it quicker. … Hopefully, we don’t have those kind of losing streaks again, but if we do have some adversity, it’s my job to fix it quicker. … I know I have to fix it quicker, and that’s my job.’’

What we learned three times is Joseph must be a

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